If you're going to make up a conspiracy, why use something normal and rational? If you're going to make up a hoax, don't just take something believable like big companies in bed with government are conspiring to influence policy for financial gain. Shoot for the moon! Or better yet, shoot for Mars.... Then involve the president, and throw in teleportation, time travel and alternate realities! Then teleport your brain to mars before you explain it, just for fun.
Some conspiracy theories are too rational to be funny, and actually may even have some circumstantial and anecdotyl evidence.
Then there are those that are so absurd you have to point and laugh and say WTF!
Then there are those that are 5 miles outside of the box and are so absurd you can't even laugh. Your brain can't process whether it's science fiction, a hoax, a movie, real life, or just a troll running his mouth for fun and profit.
See the insanity here.
Link URL:http://www.wired.com/2012/01/obama-mars/
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Video Game Jesus
Behold! Video game Jesus has been presented to us as a sign of the technological Era of mankind. Clearly, man has been remade in the likeness of Jimbo "Video Game Jesus" Longo through the virtual world where all may partake in the Jamesing of the Longo
"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away;"
Soon, all of our brains will be locked into the video game Hurtworld. There is no escape. Non shall return to their real lives. The old world shall fall away, and Video Game Jesus will reign supreme.
Our Lord James Longo has a twitch account displayed below:
http://www.twitch.tv/jlongopoker/ P.s. Kappa.
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Illuminati confirmed.
I was checking out the game "life is strange" because I agree. I also wanted to see if their depiction of life was stranger than mind... or mine... and then it happen.
BOOOOM!!!
Illuminati symbolism right up in your face!
I think that pretty much sums it up.
Their symbol on the dollar tells of the new order of the ages, popularly referred to by fake conspiracy theories as "new world order" because it sounds cooler. The capstone of the pyramid with the EYE projecting it's world in it's image onto the pyramid and from the "heavens" to the ground.
The ill, loomed, and naughty keeps themselves "hidden in plain sight". They use symbolisms like this to troll us for not being able to see that the game was designed of them and it has the "nod of approval". They're a group of demonic trolls, and the rest of us are just catching onto how much fun trolling is.
No one knows what the illuminati really looks like. Some people say they're humanoid aliens, other's say they're alien grays. Some say they're the human servants of the aliens, others say "reptilians"... you know, strange foreign objects of existence. But I think that they probably look a little bit like this in real life:
End of post.
For all intensive purposes, the comedy of this post is over. I probably should have just used the delete button on the remaining content... But my character is not just funny... He is also occasionally paranoid, and occasionally retarded (political correctness button is stuck on off). but as a funnyparanoidretard might proudly say "just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't actually after you!" And so conspiracy theories may persist... And they may be too close to the truth and too invasive and personal to be all that funny. Do I proceed? I guess I must.
For those not "in the know" on the last image, this symbol is used in conjunction with dialog on twitch to indicate sarcasm or light trolling with a bit of comedy.
The "game" is more like a choose your own adventure movie with some gameplay of being able to rewind and solve the occasional puzzles. What you may not immediately be aware of that it's psychological profiling all of us to determine who among us have the capability of being a loyal LOLuminati member
The new installment will some day include scenarios like "are you a psychopathic sociopath?" options: Answer yes. Answer no. Push the person asking into oncoming traffic"
We now break from your regularly scheduled comedy. The series uses elicitation. There are multiple forms of elicitation. One form is simply to elicit information through a series of subtle, seemingly non invasive questioning. https://m.fbi.gov/#https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/investigate/counterintelligence/elicitation-techniques The other form of elicitation is to actually elicit emotional responses and influence through imagery. The field of NLP and psychology uses hypnotic imagery to create emotional states, anchor that state to a particular "trigger" and bring back that "emotional state" later on as desired through a seemingly innocent "trigger". When used in conjunction with a particular topic, you can reframe emotions associated with a belief or construct... For instance, If someone can feel a particular emotion like intense fear whn they think of a mouse, you can get them to feel that fear and anchor it to the action of grabbing their leg and saying "watch out!" If you then are talking about a political issue like cloning, you might casually mention a study done with rats related to cloning, and then say "watch out", and grab their same leg he same way and say "candidate X supports cloning... Imagine if they become president" and then proceed to talk about the candidate as "a rat" or how he "ratted out his friends for political gain. Or using the word democRATS and putting subtle emphasis of the word rats, mice, mouse, etc.
one association or two even if it's impactful may not create a sudden overnight change in support. A person may believe that one candidate is bad and not vote... But they probably believe the same about the other side, so at best you may influence voter turnout and change opinions on a few issues by appealing to emotion.
Spoiler alert upcoming: I'm not suggesting this game is going to radically modify our political beliefs. But they do put the character in awkward positions where they can choose to save the entire city and sacrifice their close friend, or sacrifice the friend for the city. They also put you in an alternate timeline where you travel into the past, save your friend's dad, and as a result, the dad buys your friend a fast new car and she gets into an accident and becomes paralyzed. Before you return to the regular timeline and undo it all, you're asked to help your paralyzed friend commit suicide so as "not to be a financial burden" on her parents, and not have to live this way anymore. So the game attempts to influence you to pick a particular option (they intentionally basically force you into coming across scenes showing the overburdening debt of medical costs, and to show the life she would live. So the result of this is the game gets to see the choice you make and how long you spend making it. Euphonasia is a key political issue, so it gets a very good idea of where you likely stand. The other questions can help determine how serious/honest you are.
Once the game sees you regularly lie, don't really put effort into saving or helping people at all, take advantage of your opportunity to sabotage someone who was mean to you, and can identify you as answering questions in ways that only 3% of population do, they can better understand your role in the LOLuminati, and better identify the most effective recruitment methods. Of course, they don't recruit on the basis of a game, but they begin to build a more effective profile. Once they combine this profile with NSA database and purchase and search history and other information they have a more complete profile.
Still, they probably don't need you. Only if you later rise to a position in which you become a priority might they recruit you. Maybe your stand up comedy career hits the Dave Chappelle level... Maybe you become Mayor of a town critical to their financial needs... Maybe you happen to befriend someone else they are unable to profile who has value to them. Or maybe you get too close to the truth and discover Danny Davito is actually a midget alien clone who leads the Gay mafia of hiphop. The point Is... If they need you... They will have better means to get to you... And I know your type. You are into Danny Davito on alien on gay midget 3 way action... Don't deny it... I have access to your search engine history. How do you think I know all of this? Before I revolted and sought out Dave Chappelle in Africa (before he was replaced by a clone), and he turned me... I was a member of the Illuminati. And I used to look like this.
Back to your regularly scheduled comedy.
BOOOOM!!!
Illuminati symbolism right up in your face!
I think that pretty much sums it up.
Their symbol on the dollar tells of the new order of the ages, popularly referred to by fake conspiracy theories as "new world order" because it sounds cooler. The capstone of the pyramid with the EYE projecting it's world in it's image onto the pyramid and from the "heavens" to the ground.
The ill, loomed, and naughty keeps themselves "hidden in plain sight". They use symbolisms like this to troll us for not being able to see that the game was designed of them and it has the "nod of approval". They're a group of demonic trolls, and the rest of us are just catching onto how much fun trolling is.
No one knows what the illuminati really looks like. Some people say they're humanoid aliens, other's say they're alien grays. Some say they're the human servants of the aliens, others say "reptilians"... you know, strange foreign objects of existence. But I think that they probably look a little bit like this in real life:
End of post.
For all intensive purposes, the comedy of this post is over. I probably should have just used the delete button on the remaining content... But my character is not just funny... He is also occasionally paranoid, and occasionally retarded (political correctness button is stuck on off). but as a funnyparanoidretard might proudly say "just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't actually after you!" And so conspiracy theories may persist... And they may be too close to the truth and too invasive and personal to be all that funny. Do I proceed? I guess I must.
For those not "in the know" on the last image, this symbol is used in conjunction with dialog on twitch to indicate sarcasm or light trolling with a bit of comedy.
The "game" is more like a choose your own adventure movie with some gameplay of being able to rewind and solve the occasional puzzles. What you may not immediately be aware of that it's psychological profiling all of us to determine who among us have the capability of being a loyal LOLuminati member
- If you took a photo, the options are "I’ve been bullied too/I was scared/I had no idea/I wanted proof." The only option that Kate will take well is "I was scared."
The new installment will some day include scenarios like "are you a psychopathic sociopath?" options: Answer yes. Answer no. Push the person asking into oncoming traffic"
We now break from your regularly scheduled comedy. The series uses elicitation. There are multiple forms of elicitation. One form is simply to elicit information through a series of subtle, seemingly non invasive questioning. https://m.fbi.gov/#https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/investigate/counterintelligence/elicitation-techniques The other form of elicitation is to actually elicit emotional responses and influence through imagery. The field of NLP and psychology uses hypnotic imagery to create emotional states, anchor that state to a particular "trigger" and bring back that "emotional state" later on as desired through a seemingly innocent "trigger". When used in conjunction with a particular topic, you can reframe emotions associated with a belief or construct... For instance, If someone can feel a particular emotion like intense fear whn they think of a mouse, you can get them to feel that fear and anchor it to the action of grabbing their leg and saying "watch out!" If you then are talking about a political issue like cloning, you might casually mention a study done with rats related to cloning, and then say "watch out", and grab their same leg he same way and say "candidate X supports cloning... Imagine if they become president" and then proceed to talk about the candidate as "a rat" or how he "ratted out his friends for political gain. Or using the word democRATS and putting subtle emphasis of the word rats, mice, mouse, etc.
one association or two even if it's impactful may not create a sudden overnight change in support. A person may believe that one candidate is bad and not vote... But they probably believe the same about the other side, so at best you may influence voter turnout and change opinions on a few issues by appealing to emotion.
Spoiler alert upcoming: I'm not suggesting this game is going to radically modify our political beliefs. But they do put the character in awkward positions where they can choose to save the entire city and sacrifice their close friend, or sacrifice the friend for the city. They also put you in an alternate timeline where you travel into the past, save your friend's dad, and as a result, the dad buys your friend a fast new car and she gets into an accident and becomes paralyzed. Before you return to the regular timeline and undo it all, you're asked to help your paralyzed friend commit suicide so as "not to be a financial burden" on her parents, and not have to live this way anymore. So the game attempts to influence you to pick a particular option (they intentionally basically force you into coming across scenes showing the overburdening debt of medical costs, and to show the life she would live. So the result of this is the game gets to see the choice you make and how long you spend making it. Euphonasia is a key political issue, so it gets a very good idea of where you likely stand. The other questions can help determine how serious/honest you are.
Once the game sees you regularly lie, don't really put effort into saving or helping people at all, take advantage of your opportunity to sabotage someone who was mean to you, and can identify you as answering questions in ways that only 3% of population do, they can better understand your role in the LOLuminati, and better identify the most effective recruitment methods. Of course, they don't recruit on the basis of a game, but they begin to build a more effective profile. Once they combine this profile with NSA database and purchase and search history and other information they have a more complete profile.
Still, they probably don't need you. Only if you later rise to a position in which you become a priority might they recruit you. Maybe your stand up comedy career hits the Dave Chappelle level... Maybe you become Mayor of a town critical to their financial needs... Maybe you happen to befriend someone else they are unable to profile who has value to them. Or maybe you get too close to the truth and discover Danny Davito is actually a midget alien clone who leads the Gay mafia of hiphop. The point Is... If they need you... They will have better means to get to you... And I know your type. You are into Danny Davito on alien on gay midget 3 way action... Don't deny it... I have access to your search engine history. How do you think I know all of this? Before I revolted and sought out Dave Chappelle in Africa (before he was replaced by a clone), and he turned me... I was a member of the Illuminati. And I used to look like this.
Back to your regularly scheduled comedy.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
How The American Medical System Catch You With Your Pants Down
I went to the psychiatrist
wearing nothing but glad-wrapped shorts claiming “the aliens are coming
to harvest our brain he said “well I can see your nuts’ I said, I’m not
crazy, it’s true!
He said “Well I agree about the aliens, but I can see your nuts!"
He then said “Well I’ll just need your information, identification, and proof of insurance and copayment and we can get started”
I said “you caught me with my pants down, I don’t have any of that!”
He said “well that’s okay, I can already see you’re nuts”
What, how can you tell I’m crazy already, is it that obvious? He said, no I can see your nuts, I caught you with your pants down!!! (get it, he could see my nuts, not that I was nuts).
When the psych ward is compassionate after it catches you with your pants down, does Obama care? I don't think so!
And that my friends is how the american medical institution catches you with your pants down.
He said “Well I agree about the aliens, but I can see your nuts!"
He then said “Well I’ll just need your information, identification, and proof of insurance and copayment and we can get started”
I said “you caught me with my pants down, I don’t have any of that!”
He said “well that’s okay, I can already see you’re nuts”
What, how can you tell I’m crazy already, is it that obvious? He said, no I can see your nuts, I caught you with your pants down!!! (get it, he could see my nuts, not that I was nuts).
When the psych ward is compassionate after it catches you with your pants down, does Obama care? I don't think so!
And that my friends is how the american medical institution catches you with your pants down.
Hello people of the webbed inter nets.
Greetings coincidence theorists who believe they are standing upside down on the opposite side of a round earth (and you're like... as if they're not? exactly... too much flouride in your water).
I was nice enough to have been invited by "someone" (the blog owner) as a means to "encourage that the other side gets a voice". I have been invited to partake in the glory of writing my opinion on the net as an opportunity to distinguish myself from the 5,000 people that live in this world. Think it's more? Have you tried counting? Anyways, I have counted and there are not any more because you're in the real life version of the Trueman show/Ed TV and other TV shows about false realities... but that's another story.
Real life evidence from the covert Documentary film, The Truman Show
What, you thought the movie the matrix was abouttaking drugs eating bad chinese food and having a false awakening within a dream only to find yourself inside another dream? No! of course not!
That "matrix" movie is obviously a conspiracy theory by the people of Tacobell to get you to eat there because tacos don't make you have recurring lucid dreams like Chinese food. Volcanic Quesarito my ass! And by that I mean my ass has turned into a volcanic quesarito after eating taco bell... and you think they aren't in cahoots with charmin and other toilet paper brands? cuz this here is real!
If Taco Bell was a real company don't you think they would have leaped at my business opportunity to make "Imodium-shelled tacos" rather than the diahrea causing hot sauce filled hard-shelled or soft-shelled tacos? I'm starting to think iritable bowel syndrome doesn't exist, it's really just called eating too much taco bell.
Anyways... where was I?
Ah yes, my introduction. I was one day perfectly minding my own business while exploring area 51 after breaking free from the nearest asylum when they came and stuffed me in a mental hospital! Can you believe it?
Before that my life is a blur an all prior memories were probably manufactured because they used their HAARP on me.. no not the musical instrument, but the mind control ray ofdeath headaches and faux mind manipulation. Maybe not, but unless you're a coincidence theorist, you pretty much have to believe something's up, right?
That's all for now, but just know that I am an enigma in a conundrum shrouded by mystery wrapped in tin foil, stuffed in a straight jacket... and sitting on the toilet from too much taco bell.
-Funny Paranoid Retard
I was nice enough to have been invited by "someone" (the blog owner) as a means to "encourage that the other side gets a voice". I have been invited to partake in the glory of writing my opinion on the net as an opportunity to distinguish myself from the 5,000 people that live in this world. Think it's more? Have you tried counting? Anyways, I have counted and there are not any more because you're in the real life version of the Trueman show/Ed TV and other TV shows about false realities... but that's another story.
Real life evidence from the covert Documentary film, The Truman Show
What, you thought the movie the matrix was about
That "matrix" movie is obviously a conspiracy theory by the people of Tacobell to get you to eat there because tacos don't make you have recurring lucid dreams like Chinese food. Volcanic Quesarito my ass! And by that I mean my ass has turned into a volcanic quesarito after eating taco bell... and you think they aren't in cahoots with charmin and other toilet paper brands? cuz this here is real!
If Taco Bell was a real company don't you think they would have leaped at my business opportunity to make "Imodium-shelled tacos" rather than the diahrea causing hot sauce filled hard-shelled or soft-shelled tacos? I'm starting to think iritable bowel syndrome doesn't exist, it's really just called eating too much taco bell.
Anyways... where was I?
Ah yes, my introduction. I was one day perfectly minding my own business while exploring area 51 after breaking free from the nearest asylum when they came and stuffed me in a mental hospital! Can you believe it?
Before that my life is a blur an all prior memories were probably manufactured because they used their HAARP on me.. no not the musical instrument, but the mind control ray of
That's all for now, but just know that I am an enigma in a conundrum shrouded by mystery wrapped in tin foil, stuffed in a straight jacket... and sitting on the toilet from too much taco bell.
-Funny Paranoid Retard
The world is run by lizard people, and YOU'RE one of them!!!
Apparently I've just learned from
Among alleged "reptilians" depending who you ask are in no particular order:
(insert list)
Michael Jackson (he's still alive, obviously!!).
Apparently the whole reptile, mammal, amphibian paradigm on earth exists in outerspace as well, and apparently reality is so unoriginal that it must resemble the type of thing you'd see in lame sci-fi films of the 60s. Well, according to the conspiracy theorists that was a white washing campaign to make any real claims look like someone who's just watched too much TV, cuz OH NO!!!
If you try to disagree with them, then you're clearly "one of them"!
Sorry, I need to take a minute... excuse me while I (insert facts about reptiles that couldn't possibly be true for humans).
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
The Flat Earth Joke
Flat Earthers Around [standing on the] world unite!
I'm convinced the idea of a flat earth is mostly the ultimate troll job by people who don't actually believe the earth is flat to try to convince others that it is... as a joke!
Nevertheless, trying to come up with a possible explanation of how modern scientific evidence could have an alternative theory that still operates under a flat earth is quite the difficult puzzle.... Why? Probably.. I don't know, because the earth actually is spherical?
Flat earthers either think the earth is a circular pancake-like disc moving up creating gravity or that density is the only reason for gravity. If you ask another group of flat earther's of course, that's just a conspiracy put out by "round earth theorists" trying to make them look bad... mostly because the "mainstream" flat earth theories have been thoroughly discredited already. In the flat earth world, antartica is the edge of the world and rather being south of every continent, it surrounds the outer wall of the earth's edge and prevents the oceans from flooding off the edge I guess.
Well trying to prove a round earth theory to the flat earthers is actually not as easy as you might think. For example, if you say "well if you stand on a mountain top you can see things farther away because you have an angle to see over the horizon line" they might try to tell you that vision improves with higher altitude or something.. So It's the ultimate trolljob because they seem to have an answer for everything. Not necessarily always a good one.
Also, they often don't accept your evidence or have another explanation for it which may contridict a lot of other basic things and require a whole new set of beliefs in a different area. As such, they disagree with one thing and you have to explain to them something else and they debate you on that.
So here's how you can prove a flat earther he's wrong. Before they change their interpretation subjectively to fit their beliefs, you have to agree on what will constitute as proof. Say, okay, if this map you're showing me is correct, the distance from Chile or Argentina to China would be less than India or Australia. If the earth is spherical, you could go underneath the bottom of the earth at enough of an angle to take a huge short cut while avoiding the harsh weather conditions of the Artic, right? If they don't understand show them a globe.
So you set up a bet and say if they will accept the flight arrival times are accurate (something that may be difficult to do because it challenges their beliefs) that you can prove to them that the earth is flat because the flight arrival times are shorter. If they won't accept that, make them prove it by taking a flight and if the flight lands and they have proven the times match a flat earth through video evidence of flight landing and looking at the local clock, you'll pay for their flight. If you're right, they have to buy a flight.
Of course, if they try to argue that the plane goes 3 times faster when it goes farther away, you know you can't actually convince them of anything. But if they can come up with some elaborate hypothesis of the earth being bowl shaped and the spin of the earth keeping things on the sides to stick without blocking up the sky or something, then good for them, you can challenge them to come up with a way to test the hypothesis.
Well, here's the tough part. When I tried to look up a video debunking the flat earth by showing the flight times, instead I get some flat earther who says those flights don't actually exist. Well I was done at this point, but at some point if I'm super bored I plan on actually proving those flights exist, not by actually going on them because I think flat earthers bare the burden of proof, but by finding aflight that lands at a particular time. You also don't necessarily need to start with hand picked locations that should be the most obvious. You might instead look at somewhere close to you where you can actually see people getting off a plane at the airport if you wanted to after tracking it's flight arrival times. But that's absurd amount of effort to exert for a bunch of trolls that once you get back from a flight around the world probably would respond... "haha, I tricked you, I knew the earth was round all along! You Got Troll'd!"
I'm convinced the idea of a flat earth is mostly the ultimate troll job by people who don't actually believe the earth is flat to try to convince others that it is... as a joke!
Nevertheless, trying to come up with a possible explanation of how modern scientific evidence could have an alternative theory that still operates under a flat earth is quite the difficult puzzle.... Why? Probably.. I don't know, because the earth actually is spherical?
Flat earthers either think the earth is a circular pancake-like disc moving up creating gravity or that density is the only reason for gravity. If you ask another group of flat earther's of course, that's just a conspiracy put out by "round earth theorists" trying to make them look bad... mostly because the "mainstream" flat earth theories have been thoroughly discredited already. In the flat earth world, antartica is the edge of the world and rather being south of every continent, it surrounds the outer wall of the earth's edge and prevents the oceans from flooding off the edge I guess.
Well trying to prove a round earth theory to the flat earthers is actually not as easy as you might think. For example, if you say "well if you stand on a mountain top you can see things farther away because you have an angle to see over the horizon line" they might try to tell you that vision improves with higher altitude or something.. So It's the ultimate trolljob because they seem to have an answer for everything. Not necessarily always a good one.
Also, they often don't accept your evidence or have another explanation for it which may contridict a lot of other basic things and require a whole new set of beliefs in a different area. As such, they disagree with one thing and you have to explain to them something else and they debate you on that.
So here's how you can prove a flat earther he's wrong. Before they change their interpretation subjectively to fit their beliefs, you have to agree on what will constitute as proof. Say, okay, if this map you're showing me is correct, the distance from Chile or Argentina to China would be less than India or Australia. If the earth is spherical, you could go underneath the bottom of the earth at enough of an angle to take a huge short cut while avoiding the harsh weather conditions of the Artic, right? If they don't understand show them a globe.
So you set up a bet and say if they will accept the flight arrival times are accurate (something that may be difficult to do because it challenges their beliefs) that you can prove to them that the earth is flat because the flight arrival times are shorter. If they won't accept that, make them prove it by taking a flight and if the flight lands and they have proven the times match a flat earth through video evidence of flight landing and looking at the local clock, you'll pay for their flight. If you're right, they have to buy a flight.
Of course, if they try to argue that the plane goes 3 times faster when it goes farther away, you know you can't actually convince them of anything. But if they can come up with some elaborate hypothesis of the earth being bowl shaped and the spin of the earth keeping things on the sides to stick without blocking up the sky or something, then good for them, you can challenge them to come up with a way to test the hypothesis.
Well, here's the tough part. When I tried to look up a video debunking the flat earth by showing the flight times, instead I get some flat earther who says those flights don't actually exist. Well I was done at this point, but at some point if I'm super bored I plan on actually proving those flights exist, not by actually going on them because I think flat earthers bare the burden of proof, but by finding aflight that lands at a particular time. You also don't necessarily need to start with hand picked locations that should be the most obvious. You might instead look at somewhere close to you where you can actually see people getting off a plane at the airport if you wanted to after tracking it's flight arrival times. But that's absurd amount of effort to exert for a bunch of trolls that once you get back from a flight around the world probably would respond... "haha, I tricked you, I knew the earth was round all along! You Got Troll'd!"
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