Hello people of the webbed inter nets.

Greetings coincidence theorists who believe they are standing upside down on the opposite side of a round earth (and you're like... as if they're not? exactly... too much flouride in your water).

I was nice enough to have been invited by "someone" (the blog owner) as a means to "encourage that the other side gets a voice". I have been invited to partake in the glory of writing my opinion on the net as an opportunity to distinguish myself from the 5,000 people that live in this world. Think it's more? Have you tried counting? Anyways, I have counted and there are not any more because you're in the real life version of the Trueman show/Ed TV and other TV shows about false realities... but that's another story.

Real life evidence from the covert Documentary film, The Truman Show


What, you thought the movie the matrix was about taking drugs eating bad chinese food and having a false awakening within a dream only to find yourself inside another dream? No! of course not!

That "matrix" movie is obviously a conspiracy theory by the people of Tacobell to get you to eat there because tacos don't make you have recurring lucid dreams like Chinese food. Volcanic Quesarito my ass! And by that I mean my ass has turned into a volcanic quesarito after eating taco bell... and you think they aren't in cahoots with charmin and other toilet paper brands? cuz this here is real!

If Taco Bell was a real company don't you think they would have leaped at my business opportunity to make "Imodium-shelled tacos" rather than the diahrea causing hot sauce filled hard-shelled or soft-shelled tacos? I'm starting to think iritable bowel syndrome doesn't exist, it's really just called eating too much taco bell.

Anyways... where was I?

Ah yes, my introduction. I was one day perfectly minding my own business while exploring area 51 after breaking free from the nearest asylum when they came and stuffed me in a mental hospital! Can you believe it?

Before that my life is a blur an all prior memories were probably manufactured because they used their HAARP on me.. no not the musical instrument, but the mind control ray of death headaches and faux mind manipulation. Maybe not, but unless you're a coincidence theorist, you pretty much have to believe something's up, right?

That's all for now, but just know that I am an enigma in a conundrum shrouded by mystery wrapped in tin foil, stuffed in a straight jacket... and sitting on the toilet from too much taco bell.

-Funny Paranoid Retard