CERNophobia - Unleashed!

What do the pope, Obama, science, God, shiva, demons, time traveling dimensional portals and Marty McFly have in common?

They all think they're pretty sweet now, but they're in deep shit on 9/23 because if you believe the conspiracy theorists, it's going to be worse than Y2K, May 2011, December 2012... ummm... its going to be bad!
<runs away in a panic!>

Man that opening question is a great setup line for comedy, isn't it? It's the perfect setup for a killer joke... Unfortunately the conspiracy theorists tend to have a setup but the punch line always falls flat. That's too bad, because that would really help the cause of making conspiracy theory comedy.

Instead the punchline is that the world is ending? So... umm... yay? yeah.... comedy and destruction of the universe really doesn't go together. Talk about a hard sell. I've heard of dark humor, but... damn!

If you believe the conspiracy theorists, they're all related and the end is near, so... I don't know, pray while you can? Normally conspiracy theorists always have the "Mad Max Survivalist" option. But getting in your missle bunker isn't going to help for this one because the "opening of the CERN portal" could destroy the entire universe, or bring demons to harvest your soul. If floating endlessly in pieces across the universe doesn't appeal to you, or seeing apparitions isn't your idea of a good time, you shouldn've have taken the red pill.... and just think, you could have had the blue pill and a 3 hour errection instead! bad choice! you lose!

Depending on which conspiracy theory on the same topic you look at, they are mentioned in conjunction with 9/23/2015 and the CERN supercollider.  The "Armageddon out of here" will begin once they amp CERN to full power on 9/23.

Allegedly Stephen Hawking, Neil DeGrasse Tyson and other scientists warn of the risks and there may be enough energy to incinerate the planet or even destroy the entire universe. The Higgs Boson particle or "God Particle" could prove parallel universes or dimensions or be used to recreate the conditions following the big bang.

So I decided I would Google "Stephen Hawking CERN"

http://www.inquisitr.com/1459859/the-end-of-life-itself-stephen-hawking-talks-god-particle/
It looks like Hawking only said IF it were isolated and then highly powered. But nevertheless, there is some danger depending on which theory about subatomic particle is right and how it relates to the rest of the world as the theory of everything might prove that the Higgs Boson particle could in fact destroy the universe... so we have that going for us.

Okay, so you might say there are SOME things that are almost facts mixed in with these conspiracy theories... but we've only just scratched the surface. Rather than create legitimate scientific conCERN, the conspiracy theorists resort to fear mongering stupidity to the Nth degree, thus discrediting legitimate cause for concern.

Keep in mind that based upon the calculations it would need a particle accelerator the size of the earth itself to obtain that, but DETAILS, who needs them! Right?

"The flight times may suggest otherwise, but the earth is flat cuz I say it is, and if you show refuting evidence I will find out those flights were cancelled once and therefore they're imaginary, so your GMO infused diet must make you wrong and if you need me, I'll just be sticking my head in the sand and ignoring facts!"

If conspiracy theorist says something, it better not be challenged, or prepare to be struck down hard.

But, let's not have a conspiracy theory without involving the "Illuminati", right? The illuminati are an alleged secret society that may use other publicly known groups and secret societies as recruiting grounds to recruit people to "higher up". Of course since the CFR is allegedly one of those groups, and since on the public homepage for the council on foreign relations the memberships of this group and other think tanks like the chatham house are publicly available, people can make connections of members to being at least former or current upper management of all major media outlets.

Since the illuminati is therefore connected to all major media outlets like a giant octopus tentacle taking over the planet as warned in this SNL cartoon documentary.

Maybe they don't think the movie symbolism is a psy op done by the illuminati and instead they're just suffering from some kind of manic delusion or schizophrenic episode that the universe is talking to them through movies and they have to tell everyone? Who really knows? Both?

Great Scott!

Anyway, supposedly in the 1980s the collapse of the WTC was known ahead of time and so it was told about in a movie through symbolism. But to get this message you have to go BACK to the movie in the future. The same producer 30 years later decides to produce a movie about the world trade center of "the walk".

Somehow, the fact that the producer likes using a leather jacket, a red shirt, and jeans plus a few vaguely interpreted symbols that could mean anything depending on the viewer, translates into a signal 30 years in time. Afterall he did try to warn the doc with a letter to be read 30 years from now, so we must be Doc Brown that he's trying to warn.

I don't know these things!

All I know is that if you continue to look through the crazy section of youtube, you also see things about computer simulation. And somehow CERN is going to be the EMP pulse that shuts off the game console guiding our computer simulation of life, cuz this here is real! (and by real I mean fake).

I don't actually know what to type now because the residual energy from CERN is causing a dimensional portal to interfere with my thoughts. Or else they targeted my mind with HAARP because I don't have my foil hat on!

Either way, I'm going to stop for now, maybe later.... but it just turned from 9/21 to 9/22 right now... there may not be a later! Oh noes!!! We all gonna turn into a puff of smoke or maybe wake up from this dream like Neo.

Stay "tuned" (as if you're some kind of cosmic tuning fork radiating frequencies and I want to use language to manipulate your frequency... but that's another story!)